#85 - I THINK YOUR SON IS MY DAD
My hands were shaking as I opened the door to my bathroom and rolled inside. I had the phone and the number in my lap as I turned and closed the door behind me. I did not want my friends who were sitting in the living room to hear me as I made the call.
Earlier that day Delores and I had gotten into a fight and I had told her that I never wanted to speak with her again.
She called me and told me that she had stumbled across a phone number that used to belong to Rob, (my dad's) mother. Delores had asked me if I wanted to try the number and I remember both how my heart was beating and my hands was shaking while I was trying to write the number down. Delores had told me to call her back if i had wanted the number. I only had to think about that for a moment before I had called her, I had been wondering about my dad constantly and would plan out how are first meeting would go while I had been lifting weights. She had wanted me to let her know if the number had been accurate, I had not been worried about that as I had hoped that the number would be good. (I had already decided that I was not going to call her back if it was the right number, I did not want to start any he said, she said, crap between the two of them.) I had entered the numbers into my cellphone as Delores had read them off.
I remember how I had held my breath as I hit send and how I had felt so dizzy while trying to figure out what I was going to say.
One ring........Two rings ........I still did not know what I was going to say. Three rings.......I was not going to leave a message, but damn! Some one pick up I was so excited and nervous. Was it a wrong number? An older woman's voice picked up on the fourth ring and said hello. When I heard her voice it seemed to catch me by surprise because I was not expecting anyone to answer and I still had no idea of what I was going to say. I can not write word for word what was said but it was a phone call that I will never forget. I asked her if her last name was ******, (I use the asterisks in place of her last name only because I do not want anything that I may accomplish associated with that family.) [see blog](The Meaning of a Name} When she told me that it was, my heart began to race with an excited nervousness. She waited
patiently for me to ask her my next question. I asked her if she had a son named Rob, and held my breath for the brief second that it took her to say that she did. I then asked her what his
middle name was and then I told her that I was Delores's son.
I was caught off guard when she asked me if my name was Brandon and she
told me that they were just talking about me, I was not expecting her to say that. I guess I
expected neither her or her son to know of my existence. [see blog] Getting to know a dad (I was 22 and until then I had not had
any contact or seen any pictures of them, any of them.) [see blog]
First finding out that I had a...dad.
She asked me if she could tell Rob that I had called her later when he got off work. I told her not to tell him because I wanted to call back when I was ready. (I wanted to take this slow and be the one in control because this was a very intimidating situation.) I told her that I would call back in a few days if she didn't mind. I came out of the bathroom and went back into the living room and began to play PLAYSTATION with my friends whe
n my cellphone rang, It was Rob and he sounded both excited and nervous. He asked me if I had any kids and what I did for work. He asked me a few more questions and then he asked me if I had any questions for him. I had many but I did not know what to ask so I told him how nervous I was, He admitted that he was also nervous and had to get back to work but we agreed to talk again soon.
