DEATH

#32 - DEATH

I had went to the hospital earlier that morning and had awoken much later that day.  Even though it was many 

years ago, I remember it well.

I had opened my eyes to see a dull white ceiling looming over me.  I had been  lying in a hospital because I had seen  the metal rails were up when I turned my head.   I had  tried to turn my head to the left and see what was in the other direction but I couldn't.  My head had ignored my brain ordering it to turn. I had tried to raise my head from the pillow but the sudden shooting pain convinced me to forget about lifting my head.  I had seen  a young nurse that was sitting in a chair flipping through a magazine, I had opened my mouth and tried to speak to her but my words were neither clear or loud.  She had heard me though and came over to my bed,  if  I had been  standing in her spot looking into my bed I  wonder what I might have seen.  I mean, my voice had  came out weak and brittle sounding.  Did I look anything like the way that I had  sounded?   I had asked her if they had been  about ready to do the surgery  and she had looked at me and laughed a second before telling me that the surgery had already been done.  I had been very surprised after she had told me that the surgery had already been done because I  had only remembered taking all of the pills the nurse had given to me.  Wow! Those had   been some powerful drugs.  The nurse told me that the doctors had not want me trying to sit up yet and that she wanted me to stay still while she went to get another nurse.  It had  had seemed like I had been laying there a long time before she came back into the room accompanied by a male nurse.  Well I did not see them, either of them, but I had  heard their voices when they entered the room.  The male nurse walked over to the bed and told me his name and then told me that  they were going to take me to my own room.

I could not see much but I could hear numerous voices coming from the doorway of the room that my bed was being rolled through.  Someone wrapped their arms around me,  it had been my mom.. She had been  choking back tears and she asked me if I had seen her mom. (Her mom had gotten sick and died when D'  had  been  a young girl..)   I had no idea why she had asked me that, my Grandma (technically, my great aunt) 2 of my sisters and some of my cousins were in the room. It was not long before my main doctor came into the room and asked me how I had been  feeling.

I later found out that I had died 3 times during the surgery,  the first had been for 3 minutes and the second time lasted for 5 minutes then the doctors immediately lost me again for another 3 minutes.  I had been  told that after that,  the  doctors had been confident that I would not be able to survive the surgery but I came back.  I had no further problems after that.

I had been dead and I did not remember anything........No white light, no voices and  no music.  Nothing had been done, I had  not experienced anything like how death experiences have been described by others.

I will say that I was totally rested and would not be able or even need to sleep for a few days.  Today as I sit here in my office and recollect my thoughts on the surgery for this blog entry, all I can remember about the operating room and the surgery itself, is not much.  I remember smelling my own blood and my doctor's voice, instructing me to wiggle my fingers. That is all I can remember.

The surgery itself had taken many hours and took place at The Children's Medical Center in Dayton, Ohio.  I was given numerous pills before the surgery. (layman's terms) Those pills allowed me to be awake during the surgery, but forget about it.  I do not know what the other pills were

LAST MEMORY OF WALKING

#31 - LAST MEMORY OF WALKING

It was early in the morning and the hospital seemed like it was almost empty. The three of us were the only ones in the waiting room and the hard plastic chairs were surprisingly cold. The only noise that was being projected came from the television that was mounted high on the wall and was broadcasting the DISNEY channel,  we did not sit there long before a nurse that was carrying a folder had came out from the back room and asked me to come to the back so that she could weigh me and get me prepped.  I was so nervous and I remember how it had felt like my ass was firmly fastened to the chair by 2 brand new strips of velcro.  My grandpa seemed to either see or sense that I was going to need help because he reached under my arm with his and helped me to stand up.  He had then grabbed my hand (The only time that I can remember him ever holding my hand., there was usually a beer in his hand.) and he walked along side me as I went with the nurse.

Once in the back room I had to remove my clothing and put a gown on.  I was a scrawny kid and I bet my skinny, white ass was hanging out and mooning every one as I walked over to the scale so that I could be weighed.    After being weighed I was lead to a room that had a bed in it and my mom and my grandpa were sitting in there and waiting for me.  When I went into the room I was told that someone would be in to start my I.V and I was asked if there was anything that I needed.  I was so hungry but they would not let me have anything to eat except for ice chips.   Someone had asked me if I wanted to play NINTENDO and I told them that I did.   A nurse came into the room pushing a cart and told me that she was going to start my I.V and then she was going to insert the catheter and at that  point I had thrown a fit. (I was not about to let anyone put anything into the tip of my PP!)   I was in a panic and the nurse re-checked her notes and seen that that the catheter was to be inserted after I had fallen asleep.   I was calmed down when she had assured me that the catheter was to be inserted when I had fallen asleep and she was able to insert the I.V needle without me making a sound.  (As long as I am able to watch the needle, shots do not bother me.)  They brought in a TV that was on a cart that also had a NINTENDO on it.  There were only 2 games, TETRIS and DICK TRACY.  TETRIS was a boring game to me at that time so I had  played the GAME.  I remember how I had been interrupted from my game by a man that had been dressed like a doctor. He came in to ask a few questions about my blood type in case something went wrong and they needed to give me some donor blood.  (My grandpa offered to give me some of his blood and I remember how my mom had looked at me and smiled because we both had known that his blood had been  high in alcohol.)  The doctor had left the room and a nurse brought me in a small cup with a few pills in it along with a cup full of water.  Not long after I had taken the pills, I had started to feel drowsy.

..................................................................................................

My last memory of walking had taken place that morning.