#78  -

FIRST TIME THAT I GOT HIGH

Dolores had accused me of smoking weed when I had still lived in her house.  Then she had accused me of smoking when i had moved on campus but I had only drank beer, smoked cigarettes and always turned it down.  I had always turned down weed whenever I had it offered to me because I had enough shit wrong with me already.   I had no idea how the weed would have  affected me and  I had no interest in finding  out.   I had began to work with Allie as she had came to the university  and would take me to run my errands and to the grocery store.   I had already been on academic probation and had known that the dormitory had to be vacated during the upcoming summer so that the college had been able to make repairs, I had no idea where I would end up.  I had called a friend and then Delores's ex-boyfriend that  had told me to call his sister and when I had talk to her husband.  They had known that I would never go back to Delores's house and he had told me that I could stay if I had not messed with his sixteen year old step-daughter.  SHE HAD MADE IT VERY HARD AND IT WAS ALSO HARD TO KEEP MY HANDS OFF OF HER!  I had managed to follow his wishes, and i had stayed at their  house for a few months until Allie had told me that she had a opening in one of her apartments.  During that  time I had stayed with the family and Allie had continued to take me on my errands,  I would ride around with her while she was working with other clients.  ONE DAY WE HAD STOPPED AT A PARK, AND SHE HAD TOLD ME THAT SHE HAD WANTED ME TO TRY SOMETHING WITH HER, I HAD BEEN QUICK TO SAY OK BUT IT HAD NOT BEEN WHAT I HAD THOUGHT IT WOULD BE.  I had never minded when she had smoked around me as she had always made sure that it had been ok, she had pulled out a little wooden box that I had seen her in before.  She had loaded up a little pipe and had told me that she had not wanted me to do what we were about to do with anyone else.  She had loaded up a one hitter, and she had told me to inhale and assured me that If I  did not like the way that it made me feel then it would be no big deal to tell her.  I had been a little uneasy  but I  had trusted Allie not to give me anything that would be hard on me.  I HAD TAKEN A HIT AND HAD FELT NOTHING, AND HAD TOLD HER SO THEN I WAS ABLE TO HEAR A SQUIRREL CHEWING ON A ACORN IN A TREE NEAR  BY...  THE FEELING HAD BEEN AWESOME  AS I HAD NOT KNOWN ANYTHING COULD MAKE ME FEEL THAT GOOD AND I HAD LIKED THE WAY IT HAD SLOWED MY MIND DOWN BUT,  SHOWN THAT I COULD BE AT PEACE BUT THE FEELING HAD NOT LASTED LONG.