THE PROBLEM THE SOLUTION

#28  - THE PROBLEM THE SOLUTION


The 3 of us had sat inside Dr. lehner's privet office in down town Dayton.  I had never seen him out side of Children's Medical Center and I had kept myself busy looking at all of the photos that he had hanging all over his office.  Neither my mom or I had figured out why he had wanted to see me outside of the hospital and he had not kept us waiting very long, he had came into the office and had gotten straight to the point.  He had told me that he had been following the curvature of my spin for awhile and he had went on to tell me that when I had my leg operated on, he had taken an ex-ray of both my leg and back.  He then had told me that he had also taken an ex-ray of my back the day that I had my cast removed and he had mentioned that he had not liked how big of a difference that he had seen in the curvature in such a short period of time.  HE HAD NORMALLY KEPT ME IN A CAST FOR A MONTH OR TWO BEFORE  HE HAD IT TAKEN OFF, I HAD ALWAYS HATED HIM FOR MAKING ME OPERATE NORMALLY WITH A BROKEN BONE THAT HAD NOT HAD THE SHELTER OF A CAST.  I WOULD NOT UNDERSTAND HIS MENTALITY OF USE IT OR LOSE IT UNTIL MANY YEARS LATER.   I remember how he had turned on a lite on behind him and pulled two ex-rays from his desk, my mom had went over the two ex-rays while the doctor had explained the curvature to her and where it had been.  The two ex-rays had looked the same to me so I had quit looking at them.  When my mom had sat back down the doctor had told me that he had thought that I had now been old enough for him to include in any conversation hat had involved my body and health from that point on.   I had always known that they had been keeping me in the dark about a lot of shit but, I had liked the idea of no more secrets from them to me when it had been about me.

H e had told both of us that if we had allowed my scoliosis  to continue at the rate that it had been going, my lungs would eventually be crushed and that would make it harder for me to breath and walk.  He had looked at me before he had told me that he could fix the problem but, it would require surgery and like all the surgery had risks.  I remember how my mom had started to cry as the doctor had been defining for me what the risks had been, the only thing that I had not liked was the idea of the catheter that was going to be put in my penis.   He had told me that he had understood my worry and would make sure that the catheter would be put in after I had been asleep, that had been the only thing that I had worried about.  WHEN YOU ARE YOUNG IT IS FUNNY THAT THE THING YOU FOCUS ON AND HEAR IS NOT ALWAYS THE WORST THING WHEN GIVEN A LIST OF BAD SCENARIOS.  before we had left his office, my doctor had wanted to know if we both had trusted him.  He had reminded the two of us that it had been important to take care of that matter immediately, he had then told us that he had given the matter much thought and the surgery had seemed to be the most logical as well as permanent solution.


   

WET CAST

#27 - WET CAST



After I had fell down in the kitchen the doctors had to operate on my leg as soon as the ambulance dropped me off at the Children's Medical Center,  they were successful putting  the bone back where it went.  I had to wear a cast on my foot that had came up  below my kneecap and let me tell you that one of the worst places to have a cast is on your foot, not only did  the cast  get in the way but  I always seemed to itch like crazy.  I also had a wound from the surgery that had been heeling up and that had only added to my itching misery.  I had been told by my mom that I had no longer been able to stay home alone during that time period.  She had been getting a lot of painting jobs from our land lord/slum lord and I had thought that it had been so boring sitting at a dirty apartment while I had waited for my mom to run out of paint or call it a day.  Some times my little sister and I would play cards or start the never -ending task of trying to arrange my baseball cards, I still have memories of finding the occasional cockroach or spider choosing to be in the spot where we had set up shop with the cards.  I WOULD OF COURSE SCREAM AND TRY TO GET UP AND WALK AWAY LIKE A LITTLE GIRL.  I had never been surprised by the bad shape that the apartments had been in that our landlord had been trying to rent out.  NOW THAT I AM OLDER AND HAVE A BETTER SENSE OF HOW MUCH THINGS COST, OUR LANDLORD HAD BEEN A VERY BAD PERSON BY TRYING TO MAKE A BUCK ON THOSE TRASHY HOLES.  My mom had just finished painting one day when it had started to pour out side and wouldn't you know,  we were  already outside I had worried about my walking cast getting wet.  MY DOCTORS HAD ALWAYS WARNED ME ABOUT NOT GETTING THE CAST WET AND MY MOM HAD ALWAYS MADE ME WEAR GARBAGE BAGS AROUND ALL MY CASTS WHEN I WAS  TAKEN A SHOWER.  I had stepped into a deep pot hole because the damn landlord had kept the drive ways in the same shape as the apartments.  I had really gotten that cast wet and had felt the water soak into the foot of my cast, if I had been able to wear a shoe on that foot I can only wonder on how wet I would have gotten the bottom of that cast.  When I had gotten back to the apartment my mom had taken the hairdryer to the bottom of the cast to try and dry it.  A few days later I had to go into the hospital because it was time to have the cast removed and unlike the numerous other cast that I  had taken off, this one had hurt as it had been stuck to my heel.  I remember how bad it had hurt as the plaster had seem to get stuck on my skin,I had been told right away that I must have gotten  the cast wet.  TODAY THE KIDS ARE LUCKY BECAUSE THERE ARE NOW CAST THAT CAN BE WORN WHILE YOU ARE SWIMMING IN A POOL, I HAVE SEEN A KID SWIMMING AND HAD WARNED HIM THAT IT WOULD HURT WHEN HE WENT AND HAD IT REMOVED.   HE HAD JUST LOOKED AT ME AS IF I HAD BEEN CRAZY AND  I HAD REALIZED THAT THE DAYS OF PLASTER CAST HAD BEEN A THING OF THE PAST.  So there I had been, Larry was trying to remove that cast and I had done my best not to ball me eyes out as the skin around my heel has been burning while being ripped off.  Have you ever had a cast removed?  There is a bunch of hair and dirt as well as bad odor and on that occasion, I have been glad to see that the incision scab had been healing up nicely.  EVEN TO THIS DAY, I AM GLAD TO ANNOUNCE THAT HAD BEEN THE  ONLY BURN THAT HAS EVER PIERCED THROUGH MY SKIN.

BROKEN

#26 - BROKEN

It had been the weekend and I had been excited about the ending of the school year, I had only few weeks to go and then I would be on summer break and then be at the high school to start 9th grade.  I was home alone and doing the dishes because it had been a chore of mine and It had been the middle of the afternoon and my dog had been asleep right by my feet.  I hated to do the dishes and my mom had known it, instead of the chore being rotated between me and my sister it had became solely my job.  I especially hated to wash the silverware cause I could never get the damn forks fully clean, Don't you hate that?  Anyway, my mom would fully inspect everything and if there were too many dirty things, she would empty every dish out of the damn cupboard and make me wash them all.  This would piss me off  because then I would be washing dishes for hours, even today in my place I wait to do the dishes until I absolutely have to.  I used to just buy more plastic  dixie cups and plates  but that became to expensive.  When I had done the dishes as a kid I had my own system, I would fill the sink with very sudsy water and then I would throw in all the non-sharp silverware.  I would leave the silverware in there and start washing the plates and left the washed plates pile in the other sink, then I had  put the remaining dirty plates and bowls on top of the soaking silverware. Just hang in there, it is going to get interesting...  I could not use really hot water because my reflexes had not allow it, (my hands would jerk back fast because the hot liquid would hurt my hand.)  (It still has that effect today with hotter liquids.) So I had been in a bit of a hurry to get the dishes done before the water had gotten cold and was moving around kinda fast, I had not been watching my footing and tripped over the dog.  I fell on my stomach and slammed my forehead against the floor, I did not move an inch until the noise in my head quieted and I could hear again.  Then I took inventory of the muscle movements to see if anything had been broken or had became disconnected and everything felt fine so, I had rolled over.  I had felt my right foot tingle as I had rolled over and then it had went numb, I had been on my back and my foot felt like your arm does when you have slept on it all night, when I had looked down at my foot I had seen that my ankle had been flat against the floor and my foot had been aimed to the right.  I had breathed a sigh of relief because my right foot had not been pointing to the left.  I had on a pair of socks so when I had wiggled my toes I should not have had a problem seeing them move but they had not.   no matter how hard I had tried.   I could not move the toes on my right foot, I had tried to move the foot itself and it had not moved.   At that point, I had been more curious than scared because I had not felt any pain.  I had been on the kitchen floor for at least 10 min and had been ready to get up.  I had again tried to move the right foot and my calf muscle had been bulging from the effort, still the numbness and still the foot refused to move.   I had reached down with my right hand and wrapped it around the calf and pulled my leg upright with my hand, The numbness had been immediately erased by a very sharp and constant pain.  (Thinking back, I could not pinpoint the exact location of the pain without knowing both the numbness stoppage and the visual confirmation.)  My pajama pant had became wet around the spot just below and in front of the calf of my right leg.  I remember screaming out in pain hoping that God would come help me, he didn't.  I had felt my eyes trying to roll up in my head and try to see my brain, the pain.    My hand had still been behind the calf, holding my leg up and I had seen that my foot had been hanging down and at a weird angle and swinging limply right and left from  the vibrations of my screams.   The back of my head had hit the kitchen floor with a thump.  Had I passed out?  I had not known because I had been trying to raise the pajama pant leg up to see the wet spot on the front of my lower leg.  (What the hell had  I been doing?  Maybe I had been curious, I don't know.)  The pain had been  increasing with every tug at the pant leg.   Here comes the nasty part but first let me ask you, have you every been eating out of a small can of peanuts and put your mouth in the can itself and smelled the can, more towards the bottom ?  That smell had seemed to fill my nostrils and when I had slid the entire pant leg up far enough to reveal the area that had made my pant wet  I had seen a purple bubble containing various veins and trying to protrude from that bubble was later found out to have been my Tibia bone.  I had looked away in disgust but the image had been burnt in my brain.  The kitchen phone had been high up on the wall and out of my reach   I had began clawing the floor with my left hand so that I could slide on my butt while pulling myself into the living room.   I had still been holding my foot with my right hand and was feeling the pain even more when I had been  moving.  (At 27 I can say that I had feared no man, I fear snakes and spiders and the feeling of being helpless.)  Crawling to the phone left me to simmer in that state.  When I had reached the phone to call my mom and tell her that I had fallen and had been hurt bad, I had laid my head on the carpet as the dog had been looking at me while she had been hiding under the  chair.   I had closed my eyes as I had Heard approaching sirens.  I had remembered the painful ride in the ambulance as it had seemed to hit every bump with my leg feeling it all. When I had gotten to the hospital I had been put to sleep and operated on and the bone was re-attached. 

bike riding

bike ride

#25 - BIKE RIDING

I had always enjoyed ridding my bike ever since I had first learned how back in Springfield, I had loved feeling the wind in my hair and had always pedaled my bike as fast as I could.  when I had fallen off the bike and had gotten my arm ran over, I had not even hesitated about getting back on the bike when my cast had been removed.  I always had the bad luck of getting my shoe lace wrapped up in the pedals and had usually realized it when I had been so wrapped up that I had not even been able to step down on the pedals to brake.  I had soon kept my shoe laces tucked into my shoes but sometimes I had still managed to have the same problem during the earlier years of my life, I had learned to always check my shoe laces before and during riding my bike since then.  My mom had soon found out that the best way of punishing me had been to take away my bike and there had been a time that I had not ridden my bike in several weeks.  I can remember getting my first toolbox from one of the neighbors and I had taken my bike apart, my mom had taken her sweet time putting it back together.  I had loved to go down a hill and skid side ways by slamming on the brakes when I had hit lose gravel.  When we had moved to Troy Ohio, we had began to take long bike rides all over town and the neat thing had been that we had gotten to ride in the street.  The side walks had been ridiculous due to the tree roots that had run under them sending the cement blocks of the side wake jutting dangerously in spots.  Of course, we had never ridden in the street unless our mom had been there.  We had only been allowed to ride our bikes near the house, which had gotten to be very boring.  My mom had gotten me a brand new bike for my 13th b-day but, she had installed a giant rear view mirror on the handle bar becauseshe had said that I had always ridden out in front of cars that had been passing by.  That bike has been special to me because it had been my first bike ever, that had brakes on the handle bars.  So picture a dude that you had went to school with and had seen him ridding down the road with a bicycle helmet, having his mom cussing at him from a bicycle behind him while you are trying not to laugh at him because of the motorcycle rare view mirror that he had on his handle bar.   YEAH, I GUESS THAT YOU CAN SAY THAT I WAS A STRAIT UP CHICK MAGNET !

ARE YOU MY GRANDMA ?

 










#24 - ARE YOU MY GRANDMA?

 

I had been so nervous and my palms had been so sweaty that I had been afraid I would drop the change before I had  gotten it into the payphone, i had tried to plan out what I been going to say to her. FIRST READING THIS, YOU PROBABLY THOUGHT THAT I HAD BEEN GOING TO CALL UP SOME CHICK, THAT I HAD GONE TO SCHOOL WITH THAT IS OF COURSE IF YOU HAD NOT SEEN THE TITLE OF THIS POST.  she had lived in Vandalia and she had been a relative of mine that I had never before heard of let alone met, I had to beg my mom for the change needed to use the payphone.  that woman had never ceased to amaze me by what information she had withheld from us kids and the only way in which I had found out about the woman that I had been going to call was being nosy.  We had been at the Salem Mall located in Dayton with my Aunt Sharon sitting in the food court and the two of them had been talking about what a bitch my mom's  grandmother had been.  I had asked them if she had still been alive and my mom had told me that her grandmother had been to evil to die so I had told the tow of them that I had wanted to give her a call.  My mom had been hesitant when it had came to writing down her grandmother's number for me and there had been some time where I had not thought that she was going to let me call the woman.  SO THAT HAD BROUGHT ME TO THE WALL IN WHICH THE MALL HAD KEPT THE PUBLIC PAY-PHONES THAT HAD BEEN NEAR THE FOOD COURT AND I HAD BEEN ABOUT TO CALL A WOMAN THAT I HAD NEVER SPOKEN WITH BEFORE.  I had finally gotten the quarters in the pay phone and had tried to plan out my opening statement when the woman had answered the phone, I can remember how bad my hands had been shaking as I had tried to dial the phone.  Before I had known it, she had answered the phone before I had decided what I had been going to say.  are you my grandma I had asked before I had even introduced  myself to her and I can recall the way she had sounded when she had told me that it had depended on who I had been.  First impressions are the most memorable and my first impression of the woman had been that she had not seemed to be a bitch like my mom had said.  I had made plans with her to visit her and then I had hung up with her and went to tell my mom the good news but, she had not been as excited as I has been about going to my grandma's house.  WE HAD NEVER HAD MUCH MONEY AND HAD WALKED AROUND THE MALL FOR EXERCISE OFTEN. The whole way to her house, my mom had repeated to me numerous times that my grandma was not to be believed about things that she had said regarding my mom.  My mom had walked me to her front door and when the old woman had answered, my mom had told me that she had some errands to run and that I was to call her when I had been ready to  leave.  My grandma's house had the strong odor of cigarettes and her once white walls had been stained with nicotine, she had a nice living room but we had not visited in there.  We had gone in to a much smaller room that had been next to the living room and she had introduced to her very old JackRussel Terrier, the dog had a mouth full of green teeth and had not been very friendly.  I had sat there drinking a cold can of Coke as I had began to ask her numerous questions and then I had asked her to tell me a little about how my mom had been when she had been younger.  I DID NOT BELIEVE EVERYTHING THAT SHE HAD TOLD ME BUT I DID ON SOME OF THE STUFF AS I HAD NO PROBLEM SEEING HER DO SOME OF THE THINGS.  On our second visit my sister Sam had came along and it had been obvious that my Grandma had not liked her very much, I had brought her a medal that I had received from the Young Heroes.  She had given me something that my grandpa had made before he had died a few years earlier, I had felt bad because of my little sister had not gotten anything.  My mom had been asked to do little chores every time that we had visited my grandma, an example would have been how my mom had been asked to wipe down the yellowed walls and repaint them.  WE HAD TAKEN MY GRANDMA OUT AND ABOUT AND I REMEMBER WE HAD BEEN AT THE MALL IN DAYTON NO LESS, WHEN SHE HAD DECIDED SHE WOULD TELL ME WHY BLACK PEOPLE HAD BEEN SO GOOD AT BASKETBALL.  SHE HAD ACTUALLY USED THE OTHER WORD TO DESCRIBE BLACK PEOPLE AND THE MANY BLACK PEOPLE STANDING AROUND US HAD FOUND HER TO BE VERY INTERESTING AT THAT POINT AS I HAD, LET HER OUT OF THAT STORE.