DRIVING LESSONS

#55-  DRIVING LESSONS

Every time Delores  had taken me out and let me drive her around in the car I had always felt very nervous because she had been a no patient having woman that I could never seem to get on any good side that she might have  had.  Every time that I had made a mistake  she would have me pull over and slap me in the back of my head.   I had decided that I would never get my license.    After I had  turned 18 her new boyfriend Dan had been the one that I would ask to give me my lessons,  Dan had helped ease the nervousness by keeping Delores from giving me a hard time, he had enjoyed drinking and would always give Delores enough alcohol  to keep her from getting on my case.  I do not think that I had been that bad of a driver but the two of them had to be drunk enough to leave me the fuck alone  from the back seat.  The highway had been my favorite as there had not been all of the stop and go with the damn stop signs and lights.  I had a large wheel chair topper on the top of the car that had always  sucked as the big trucks had blown me all around and I had never enjoyed that car very much because the first 3 letters on the plates had been PMS. The license plate had not even been a vanity plate.  With the wheel chair topper it had not been hard to tell  where I had been as the top of the Grand Am had looked like it had a big U-Haul box on it,  I remembered the way I would wash and vacuum out that car often  and had even decided what items I wanted to put on that car  when I began working.  My mom had broken my heart when one day she had told me that the car would never be mine and she had her doubts that I  would ever be allowed to get my Driver's License.  Drea had gotten pipes on her car that had been so loud you could literally  hear her coming   from blocks away and she was not allowed to go through drive-thrus .  Her Beretta had been bad - assed as she had put a loud system in the car that made the seats vibrate which had sometimes felt better than the pillows  that I would hump.

IN JANUARY OF 2001 DELORES HAD DECIDED THAT SHE WAS GOING TO DONATE THE CAR THAT HAD MY CONTROLS IN IT TO CHARITY.  I HAD WANTED HER TO TAKE MY STUFF OFF OF THE CAR AND GIVE THEM TO ME AS THE MDA HAD BOUGHT THEM FOR ME.  DELORES HAD TOLD ME THAT SHE WOULD NOT TAKE MY WHEEL CHAIR TOPPER OFF OF THE CAR BECAUSE IT WOULD LEAVE HOLES IN THE ROOF.  SHE HAD TOLD ME THAT I COULD BUY THE 94 GRANDAM FROM HER FOR $5000 AND  I HAD REMINDED HER THAT SHE HAD ONLY GIVEN ME $85 DOLLARS A WEEK OUT OF MY OWN DISABILITY MONEY.  SHE HAD NOT SEEN TO HAVE A PROBLEM WITH HER ORIGINAL PLAN OF DONATING THE CAR TO CHARITY.  THAT DUMB BITCH DID NOT EVEN BUY THE CAR HERSELF AS IT HAD BEEN GIVEN TO HER BY A GROUP OF PEOPLE TO TRANSFER HER HANDICAP SON TO APPOINTMENTS.  IT HAD BEEN MY FAULT THAT I HAD NEVER WENT TO THE SOCIAL SECURITY OFFICE IN THE AREA SO THAT I WOULD HAVE CONTROL OF THE MONEY THAT THE STATE HAD PROVIDED TO ME TO LIVE OFF OF.  I HAD NOT BEEN FEELING LIKE GOING UP AGAINST THE CONTROLLING WOMAN BECAUSE IT WOULD BE MORE STRESSFUL THAT I HAD NEEDED AT THAT POINT.      

C#54 - MY BATHROOM ADVENTURE

MY BATHROOM ADVENTURE


I had gone to BUFFALO WILD WINGS ;with Ally and my friend Z one night, I had eaten some mild wings as the two of us had sat over at the bar while Ally had done her normal routine of hanging out with some of the guys she had known there. Z and I had wished that Ally would buy us  a beer as we had both been under 21 at the time and could not order it ourselves, despite what my mom had thought Ally had not allowed us to drink that night.  When I  had came home with a broken tail bone.

I had been using my walker that night as I  normally had during my senior year of high school and both Z and I had just drank soda with our wings until we had been about to  burst.  We had both went into the bathroom to take a leak when a man  came out of the bathroom door holding a beer in each hand, (TALK ABOUT A FUCKING-DRUNK!) the man had almost plowed over me and had almost knocked me right off my feet but my friend had caught me before I had lost my balance.  The two of us had just made it into the bathroom when the  door had swung open and that time my friend had not even had a chance to try and  catch me,the corner of the door had hit me in the back in a way that had spun me around to look at the door before falling on my butt.  My friend had tried to help me up ofF the  floor as he had yelled at the person on the other side of the door.  THE TWO OF US MUST HAVE LOOKED LIKE A PAIR OF BOOBS THAT HAD SEEM TO HAVE BEEN THE YOUNGEST PEOPLE THERE THAT NIGHT AND JUST IMAGINE ME FALLING WHILE I STILL HAD BEEN HOLDING ON TO MY WALKER.  I had told my friend to give me a moment as I had hurt like hell and he had not been that much bigger and definitely not taller.  AT ONE POINT HE HAD ACTUALLY TRIED TO DRAG ME AWAY FROM THE BATHROOM DOOR ON THE DIRTY  FLOOR.  I had been laying there trying to catch my breath when  the door  had once again SWUNG open as far as my prone body would allow, I had once again  lost hold of my breath as that damn door had drill me right in the lower back.  I had heard my friend yelling for the guy to wait a damn minute! Then  the little guy that he had been had stepped over me and had gone out of the bathroom door to get Ally.  Some of the dudes  with her had helped me up  and my tail bone had been killing me even when I had gotten in to Ally's truck.  I HAD NOT EVEN GOTTEN TO USE THE URINAL AND HAD BEEN HOLDING IT UNTIL WE HAD BEEN DROPPED OFF AT THE HOUSE.  Z Had told me that the guy who had almost knocked me over When he had came out of the bathroom had been the one who had knocked me down and he also had been the one who had been trying to  get into the bathroom as he had been trying to apologize for almost knocking me over. I had also been told that he had still been holding a beer in each hand. My friend and Ally had tried to figure out if the guy had spilled any of his beer while he had been trying to open the bathroom door with his shoulder, that had been  the main subject in her truck until she had dropped us off.

SUSPENDED FROM SCHOOL

                         
                           #48  -  SUSPENDED FROM SCHOOL

I had never liked to eat in front of the other kids all through school and when I had began at Milton High I was allowed to eat my lunch in a class room  that had been in the cafeteria.   My aide  would  take in my lunch tray so that I had not had to worry about spilling  it all over the floor.  One day a girl that had been going out with my friend David had seen me going into the classroom  and had came in, she had asked me why I had always gone into the empty classroom at lunch so I had told her.  I had really liked that girl and had remembered  how she had came over to my house with David and would lay on my bed, I had always wanted to jump on to the bed with her whenever my friend had left the room.  I am going to be honest and right that  I had still been a virgin at that time and had not quite been able to say what I would have done with her once on my bed, she had been  going out with my friend so I do not think I would have done anything as I had not anyway. She had began to come into the room often when I had gone in there to eat my aide had told the girl that she had to leave the room one day.  I remember how angry I had been at my aide who had been in her mid 20's and should have understood my mood around that girl, I had told her not to worry about the girl as she had  not  been bothering me.  I CANNOT REMEMBER WHAT THE HELL I HAD SAID TO THE  AIDE THAT DAY BUT IT HAD NOT BEEN WHAT SHE HAD TOLD THE PRINCIPAL.  THE PRINCIPAL  HAD IMMEDIATELY CAME DOWN TO THE ROOM THAT I HAD BEEN IN AND ESCORTED ME TO HER OFFICE WHERE I FOUND OUT THAT I HAD THREATENED TO KILL MY AIDE.  The principal had not liked my mom or me very much  and quickly decided that I was to leave the school grounds and when my mom had gotten to the school to pick me up, she had handled it  better than  I  thought she would.  I had been very upset at my aide because I had not said anything close to what she had said and I had never been  suspended FROM school.  I had of course been grounded from watching television or playing my PLAY STATION   and before I had been allowed to return back to school I had to attend a meeting.   A few of my teachers  and the principal as well as the Guidance  Counselor   had been in a room waiting on my mom and  I  to enter.   I had not been expecting to run into anything like that meeting when I had been allowed to come back to the school.   I had been told by the principal that the teachers in the room with me had decided that I had not taken my education seriously and was robbing the other students of an education, I had then been told that they had all thought that I was better off just dropping out.   I HAD BEEN  DOING JUST ENOUGH OF MY SCHOOL WORK  TO  PULL OFF  D'S AND C'S AND I HAD NOT BEEN EXPECTING TO GET PASSED ON  TO ANOTHER GRADE LIKE THEY HAD DONE  BETWEEN 4TH  THROUGH  THE 8TH GRADE .   I did not think those idiots had any right to decide my future for me but my mom had assured me  that I  would still get my GED so, I could still attend courses at college and be able to get a job on the radio.  I told the  principal  as well as the others in the room that I was staying  in school and would graduate  on time  in 2000 and I remember the principal looking at me like I had just shit in her coffee.   I had then been told that if I  had  ever threaten  another of her staff  I would be expelled indefinitely.
 I was then told that I would be allowed to come back the next day as the school day had almost ended.  I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN THAT SOMETHING HAD BEEN UP AS I HAD NOT EVEN BEEN ALLOWED BACK THAT DAY UNTIL WELL AFTER  LUNCH TIME.

C#34 - RE- CAPPING

RE-CAPPING 

When I had been younger, I had learned to go to a happy place in my head or another place that would help to take my mind off of the pain that I had been in.  I remember